will my life change soon? i am hoping in a good way...

I feel awkward to be with the R***L eventhough i have certain blood from it... they love me to be in the family...and i'm smiling aswell..but only one person notice my smile is 'fake' ...which she seems to understand how i am not happy with my life... she's being nice and supporting me in every aspect i have....and waiting for my real answer to whether make the biggest changes of my life or not..? im still confused after the big fall...but i am recovering slowly....

the easy life is now in my hand..but the heart remain in pain... am i making the right path ? or should i proceed with the big day? i cannot give the answer yet...i cannot join the to go for a trip to UK with the family..since im not ready to go...but when the time comes i will join them... im happy for her....but im still trying to get my heart functioning as normal as it can be... hope ....things can be more brighter in the future...

Nothing goes as plan anymore .. ^_^ I`m Ruined~

Coz if im with her ..i am thinking of you!! what if you were the one in my situation!!

Now the lessons learned i've touched and i was burned with a girl i went out with, she need to know that if when i am with a girl i am thinking of her, what if she's the one in my situation? i feel so disgusted with myself~~

Im sorry to myself, this time i have to make my real decision like she did her own decision to dump me and her previous Ex...and i am the second being trash by her, i respect her decision and her feelings and hoping for her adventures to search for the real dream 'prince' for her in the future, beside i can see the clue already from her FB display picture that she wanted a guy who is more like a star or possibly Korean after we officially 'break up'...since she's more comfortable to watch korean show rather than talking with me... hehe... im hoping for her success...



I cant do this anymore...i am moving no where .... eventhough i really wanted to see 'yumi' eyes for the last time but i guess it is the worst idea ever, beside she didnt even bother about me anymore after the break up..I have to move on now...i`ll make my own way, i know there`s something good happening for me if i chose the right person...i broke up with her coz there's a reason why and the reason is great future awaits, if she thinks that she never regret to be with me...than she will work hard for me aswell...despite being afraid or thinking what will happen in the future....luckily god shows me a better path and made that decision... thank you..

Lastly i can only say that if the future tells us to be together than the future will guide us thats what she told me before ..ill choose my way and my decision, for me and my happinness... hoping for her happiness aswell...

lastly to a friend i respect most : I am so sorry 'Mizuho' i didnt intend to make you sad when im feeling down and did not listen carefully of what you`re talking to me yesterday but i cant just stop thinking of her if i am with you, but thank you for the support on me. please forgive me!

I will give myself to someone who really cares about me...who think can accept me of who i am as a normal human being...

It's over now!

-Popoi

Lovely Party on Sunday Night~~

Fun! is the key word im searching for that night...and yes! i found it..thanks to my good buddies aspecially 'Ak Herman' who makes the party more wonderful... we played all sort kind of activities including Tag Team Wii and Football match Winning Eleven on PS3.

about the food..oh yeah! BBQ Chicken is the main part for me...hehe... feels like im in heaven on the EARTH just for that night...we communicate to each others....as i've seen ..this is what we call as friend who really concern about each other...

maybe we gonna plan another BBQ party but this time at the beach..yehaaa!! sooner or later...we are not sure yet..but for last night..it was totallly F.U.N!

She's Funny! Thank you for the Dinner Mizu-san~

After The Big Fall~ Now I`m Smiling Again...

I went for dinner today with her.... and confessed of how i felt about Japanese and my previous relationship..but i was surprised that she just feel relax about it and felt like she knew my problems at the moment even though i didn't tell her previously about it.

She said to me 'some people want everything, but actually that something is nothing without doing it, forget about the past now and move to a better life now'.

she also explained about her relationship which turns out not working, even though she failed but she will try her best to find the perfect one for her no matter where and how! and that's when the word 'action'.

"We are now friends and we will taking care each other when im still in Brunei until then, please keep that in mind Popoi" she added. atleast someone really appreciate of who i am...

We got the same Age, same sign, same birth year, same duty, same joke ... in fact the weird part is tonight we used the same 'black dress' with nearly same design!! ^_^

She's funny! that's the best part....i like to make joke as well..so it's really a fun night to have a big laugh!! we talk for nearly 3 hours ^_^ i found a good friend now who turns out to be another 'Japanese' .... at least it can help me to build my helpless heart at the moment.... Thank you again Mizuho..

My Heart told me to 'Move on' , but where should i go?

My life getting better each day after the big fall and met new nice friends, after a while i realised this woman which really concerned about my situation eventho she didnt know what i`ve gone through this far which i didnt tell her about it.






She's Japanese working in Brunei who we usually have lunch together, but the weird part is that and she`s being truely nice to me, inviting me on her every of her outside Japan talk asking me not to do coverage duty instead to just accompany her there and she will be happy for it. i am confused why she's doing this? and at the same time feels a bit weird of her actions since i'm as her good friend. every time i am with her i kept on thinking of my EX in Japan...



Well...maybe it's just my imagination but before the imagination comes to reality i better tell the fact that 'i am not looking forward to any international relationship anymore' just incase something happen in the future. don't wanna hurt anyone feelings!

my life is getting worst after i've noticed that i am being followed by XXXXXXXX since she confessed that she really likes me a lot and convincing me to try to have a relationship with her, ..i never give an answer yet since my heart cannot understand the true meaning of 'L.O.V.E' is...

The fact is that MONEY, POWER wont bring us anywhere...what i do need now is Happinness with someone who i can share the joy of having soulmate.

Moving on with new life~~

Today! i am moving on to a new single life~~, lucky my friends is around to cheer me up and i am recovering so far... life starts to get better now aspecially on meeting new friends and candidates if you know what i mean.. hehe!

I`ve also managed to do my scholarship exam and went through an interview... but there`s a bit of problem may possibly ruined on achieving my goal to get my master degree.... but im not hoping ...i`ve already tried my best. whats more crazier is that i rejected the offer to work in australia ..how bad is that huh?? hehe...i follow my instinct since it says there will be more better opportunities if you wait for a while.

in addition, in the un-sudden situation .. i've met two japanese woman who works in Brunei and being really nice to me...very!, i dont know why my life tend to attract with japanese but nearly every week we met and have lunch break together, whats more interesting is that we have the same type of work and interest....but as i remember of my past history, coz no matter what my ex-fiance in Japan is still the best for me...and beside it is impossible for me to make another close relation with one of em', friend is enough. but im moving forward to see my life in the future...




will update new NEWS in the futures Guys~~