April Lovers!

will my life change soon? i am hoping in a good way...

2010-09-02T09:35:00.000-07:00

I feel awkward to be with the R***L eventhough i have certain blood from it... they love me to be in the family...and i'm smiling aswell..but only one person notice my smile is 'fake' ...which she seems to understand how i am not happy with my life... she's being nice and supporting me in every aspect i have....and waiting for my real answer to whether make the biggest changes of my life or not..? im still confused after the big fall...but i am recovering slowly....

the easy life is now in my hand..but the heart remain in pain... am i making the right path ? or should i proceed with the big day? i cannot give the answer yet...i cannot join the to go for a trip to UK with the family..since im not ready to go...but when the time comes i will join them... im happy for her....but im still trying to get my heart functioning as normal as it can be... hope ....things can be more brighter in the future...

Nothing goes as plan anymore .. ^_^ I`m Ruined~

2010-08-27T23:16:00.001-07:00

Coz if im with her ..i am thinking of you!! what if you were the one in my situation!!

2010-08-26T09:03:00.000-07:00

Now the lessons learned i've touched and i was burned with a girl i went out with, she need to know that if when i am with a girl i am thinking of her, what if she's the one in my situation? i feel so disgusted with myself~~

Im sorry to myself, this time i have to make my real decision like she did her own decision to dump me and her previous Ex...and i am the second being trash by her, i respect her decision and her feelings and hoping for her adventures to search for the real dream 'prince' for her in the future, beside i can see the clue already from her FB display picture that she wanted a guy who is more like a star or possibly Korean after we officially 'break up'...since she's more comfortable to watch korean show rather than talking with me... hehe... im hoping for her success...

I cant do this anymore...i am moving no where .... eventhough i really wanted to see 'yumi' eyes for the last time but i guess it is the worst idea ever, beside she didnt even bother about me anymore after the break up..I have to move on now...i`ll make my own way, i know there`s something good happening for me if i chose the right person...i broke up with her coz there's a reason why and the reason is great future awaits, if she thinks that she never regret to be with me...than she will work hard for me aswell...despite being afraid or thinking what will happen in the future....luckily god shows me a better path and made that decision... thank you..

Lastly i can only say that if the future tells us to be together than the future will guide us thats what she told me before ..ill choose my way and my decision, for me and my happinness... hoping for her happiness aswell...

lastly to a friend i respect most : I am so sorry 'Mizuho' i didnt intend to make you sad when im feeling down and did not listen carefully of what you`re talking to me yesterday but i cant just stop thinking of her if i am with you, but thank you for the support on me. please forgive me!

I will give myself to someone who really cares about me...who think can accept me of who i am as a normal human being...

It's over now!

-Popoi

Lovely Party on Sunday Night~~

2010-08-09T02:05:00.000-07:00

Fun! is the key word im searching for that night...and yes! i found it..thanks to my good buddies aspecially 'Ak Herman' who makes the party more wonderful... we played all sort kind of activities including Tag Team Wii and Football match Winning Eleven on PS3.

about the food..oh yeah! BBQ Chicken is the main part for me...hehe... feels like im in heaven on the EARTH just for that night...we communicate to each others....as i've seen ..this is what we call as friend who really concern about each other...

maybe we gonna plan another BBQ party but this time at the beach..yehaaa!! sooner or later...we are not sure yet..but for last night..it was totallly F.U.N!

She's Funny! Thank you for the Dinner Mizu-san~

2010-08-07T08:17:00.000-07:00

After The Big Fall~ Now I`m Smiling Again...

I went for dinner today with her.... and confessed of how i felt about Japanese and my previous relationship..but i was surprised that she just feel relax about it and felt like she knew my problems at the moment even though i didn't tell her previously about it.

She said to me 'some people want everything, but actually that something is nothing without doing it, forget about the past now and move to a better life now'.

she also explained about her relationship which turns out not working, even though she failed but she will try her best to find the perfect one for her no matter where and how! and that's when the word 'action'.

"We are now friends and we will taking care each other when im still in Brunei until then, please keep that in mind Popoi" she added. atleast someone really appreciate of who i am...

We got the same Age, same sign, same birth year, same duty, same joke ... in fact the weird part is tonight we used the same 'black dress' with nearly same design!! ^_^

She's funny! that's the best part....i like to make joke as well..so it's really a fun night to have a big laugh!! we talk for nearly 3 hours ^_^ i found a good friend now who turns out to be another 'Japanese' .... at least it can help me to build my helpless heart at the moment.... Thank you again Mizuho..

My Heart told me to 'Move on' , but where should i go?

2010-08-05T07:28:00.000-07:00

My life getting better each day after the big fall and met new nice friends, after a while i realised this woman which really concerned about my situation eventho she didnt know what i`ve gone through this far which i didnt tell her about it.

She's Japanese working in Brunei who we usually have lunch together, but the weird part is that and she`s being truely nice to me, inviting me on her every of her outside Japan talk asking me not to do coverage duty instead to just accompany her there and she will be happy for it. i am confused why she's doing this? and at the same time feels a bit weird of her actions since i'm as her good friend. every time i am with her i kept on thinking of my EX in Japan...

Well...maybe it's just my imagination but before the imagination comes to reality i better tell the fact that 'i am not looking forward to any international relationship anymore' just incase something happen in the future. don't wanna hurt anyone feelings!

my life is getting worst after i've noticed that i am being followed by XXXXXXXX since she confessed that she really likes me a lot and convincing me to try to have a relationship with her, ..i never give an answer yet since my heart cannot understand the true meaning of 'L.O.V.E' is...

The fact is that MONEY, POWER wont bring us anywhere...what i do need now is Happinness with someone who i can share the joy of having soulmate.

Moving on with new life~~

2010-07-29T03:26:00.000-07:00

Today! i am moving on to a new single life~~, lucky my friends is around to cheer me up and i am recovering so far... life starts to get better now aspecially on meeting new friends and candidates if you know what i mean.. hehe!

I`ve also managed to do my scholarship exam and went through an interview... but there`s a bit of problem may possibly ruined on achieving my goal to get my master degree.... but im not hoping ...i`ve already tried my best. whats more crazier is that i rejected the offer to work in australia ..how bad is that huh?? hehe...i follow my instinct since it says there will be more better opportunities if you wait for a while.

in addition, in the un-sudden situation .. i've met two japanese woman who works in Brunei and being really nice to me...very!, i dont know why my life tend to attract with japanese but nearly every week we met and have lunch break together, whats more interesting is that we have the same type of work and interest....but as i remember of my past history, coz no matter what my ex-fiance in Japan is still the best for me...and beside it is impossible for me to make another close relation with one of em', friend is enough. but im moving forward to see my life in the future...

will update new NEWS in the futures Guys~~

Faith , will show us the way

2010-07-13T21:40:00.000-07:00

She is the only girl that can make me happy, she told that but she question, can i make her happy? if she think this way in the future, we wont be~ but i respect her that she's strong in this situation to try our best to work things out...everything is not too late!

Cooperation and Communication is the answer for everything...if we dont have this we will definitely lose! Thank you guys for the Tips..

Thank you for your precious comment guys~

2010-07-12T09:51:00.000-07:00

Thank you for your support,
ill continue with the post when i got new things to say

Lets just go with the Flow~~

2010-07-12T01:16:00.001-07:00

Thank you Guys for the emails...

i will be much appreciate to share your email post in this blog and i was surprised that most of you like reading my story journal... i will post every email that i received from you guys..in a few days time.... i will continue my blog and will just go with flow..

What an Embarrasement..... Last Episode~~

2010-07-10T19:24:00.000-07:00

Yumi Family and myself as my final photo to be published in this blog as memories kizuna84

Today i feel like a total idiot, sitting in my living room and wonder what i should do next, my parent also lecture me about what i have done to the family and beginning to worry about my future, i am so sorry to embarrased my mom and dad, i also would like to apologised dragged them to go Japan even ..its all my fault...i hope god will change everything back of what things had happened to me...

Arrange marriage with a doctor? thats what my parent asking me to do now, to respect them maybe i will have to reconsider since my life had totally changed now or maybe i will just continue with my study first then rethink again, thanks to couz Yani who always be there for me when i am down..i have to choose a new path now.. ^_^

Anyway this will be my last blogpost since i had nothing to do with 'aprilover' anymore....i will make my very own blog after this.. thank you to all readers for taking the time to read all of my journal..if you got any queries..please do email me ya...

Thank you for you time

-Popoi

'April is Over' - Thought you were always be Mine..

2010-07-07T09:39:00.000-07:00

Popoi & Yumiko at Tokyo Playground

April Lover is Over.........

'April 2010' is the set time for our wedding, but i guess it will be cancelled, it`s ok ...what is important now is for her happiness....i will give her what she want, that is to be free atleast she can do what she really like to do to watch korean drama or joining Hiphop class... if she is happy ..ill be much happier ^_^

No matter How Good or Bad she was in the history with me, but she is still the best for me, it will be in my heart forever and it will be in my lovely memories hoping atleast we can be as friend can fix my heart bit...

It`s time for me to Move on.....I don`t know i can achieve my goal in the future when i am feeling Down like this~~ it feels like I`m GONE in this life already, but yeah! life goes on~

-Popoi-

Where is my old Yumi ?

2010-07-06T21:09:00.000-07:00

I don't know why i cant think right at the moment, i feel like my head been struck by a truck!, i am sick of my heart questioning me what happen in terms of our relationship?, last night we have this discussion which it turns to an argument, i was only asking whether she still love me or not? and that's all what i wanted to know on behalf for my heart.... then suddenly it becomes like speech contest where at the end there is no winner.

honestly, i wanted to know the real answer just to relief my broken heart to live another day of joy and happiness life. hoping she would understand what is my position and important i am to her? , all of this time..i wanted to give her all the positive views and information to help her on her current situation, i guess it doesn't work at all since her friends advice are much more useful than mine. so since then i am thinking of myself whether am i part of her life now? or something has changed in our relationship?.

She even kept on forgetting what she said to me and when i ask back she did not admit she said that and blaming me that i make up story. nothing is important for me right now except her so anything she wanna say i accept and apologise even i think that it is not my fault. fine! what i want is for her recovery and her happiness.

lets go back to our past relation, where she usually spend most of her time sending email more than 5-6 mail per day, she was eager to talk with me when we do our daily 'video call' with a great lovely smile, when i am late she'll misscall me repeatedly until i answered it, she always ask me of how my condition and sending some medication if i am sick, never forget to say 'love' or 'kiss' to show of her feelings to me and if i don't reply back with the same sign she will be sad and ask me why, she also would ask for permission if she's going to meet her friends or guys just to respect and to make me not to worry. Now in 2010 - not even a mail? i kept on sending her email but she sometimes reply maybe after few days with a just a few sentences and its the same word and the previously email i received, how about a word of love or kiss where we used to do that...now its only a sign 'hug' only a sign of HUG!, i know i am being sensitive but if we combine all of this together..we can see the changes. so when i say 'i miss you' the simplest word she would reply to me is ............... not to 'reply at all' pretending maybe she didnt receive the email. i am very dissapointed with her action but ill keep myself strong for me to move on.

where's the agreement we made previously, to love each other, to understand each other, to help each other, to discuss if we got problem, to share only between us if we got problems, to settle in a good way, to give space to talk if the person is still talking, to learn on positive side rather than negative outcome. i dont see it anymore, i'm trying my best to work things out as normal as it can be but it wont work if its only my side.

all i see is that, if i say something to understand about her more than it will react as i am picking a fight to her, i feel much better to write in this blog rather than share it with my friends, i hope one day she will realise how much i love her and i dont have the 'ego' anymore to show how powerful i am. i am just sick of this...maybe in the future i will be just like her, mentally exhausted.

i wont force her to think about the future anymore, i know that she got mental problem at the moment, but please do remember this that i have feeling aswell and it is not about one sided love its about both cooperation. if we work together we can definitely solve it.

right now! all i can think of is that i am 'the blame from all of this', who made her like this, maybe if i am gone from her side she will be perfectly recover... at the moment we already made an agreement to improve and not to think negative anymore...but all i can see right now its not an action but from the word.

I dont know what to do but to wait until everything is back to what we were before, if we can!

It's time to move on...........

-Popoi

Travel for her and suddenly it ENDS...

2010-07-01T03:28:00.001-07:00

16th June 2010 - The Day we all went to Japan to start a new beautiful life together ends up in Missery. Me, my mom and dad went to Japan to propose and at the same time to meet up my girl family. we were having a great time together with them, aspecially on how they treat us well...

we didnt expect such smile and hospitality, while having discussion about future marriage and travelling far distance to understand both side even we got problem with the language but we manage to communicate very well. the maginificent five days in Tokyo brings a lot of sweet and sad memories.

the sad memories was, i didnt expect my girl would say such a thing 'cannot be rely on' after we came back to our country. since we've been together for 3 years and understand each other well....

How do i feel, how do my parent feel, my family, cousins and friends after we went to Japan for a serious discussion for marriage and suddenly cancelled due to her instinct of 'inconfidence' for me.

I wanna make you happy, i can surely make you happy and i will make you happy, but i cant proof to you now infact i will surely will show it in the future..let the time goes by...and see the changes. i dont know what our position or relationship at the moment, but im hoping from you and god that all goes back to normal.. any choice you make will surely as for your happiness.

All depends on her now....i will just follow what you want, and im writing this is just to let my feelings out.

Popoi

Stage Preparations for my WEDDING .....

2010-02-19T05:39:00.000-08:00

This is the stage that im going to use for my upcoming wedding with my LOVE!

Happy to see my girl came over from Japan to Brunei, Arigato!

2010-02-18T08:49:00.000-08:00

i want her and only her in my life...she`s perfect for me...i want to settle our marriage this year! Kapeesshhh!! no more pending..and no matter what...

Very HOT Day !!!

2010-02-02T23:41:00.000-08:00

a Very Hot Day to go outside....so we all just having a relax moment at the office while doing nuthing.... no new update so far... hehe! :D

Brunei Yonex Open 2010, Japan Top Players in Brunei got the Opportunity to meet and Greet them.. :D

2010-02-01T23:33:00.001-08:00

The TV crew from Fuji TV kept on focusing on what im doing... Run!!

Test Drive Audi A4, A5 and A6 + R8 'Love it'...

2010-02-01T00:06:00.000-08:00

This is the best car so far....one day i`ll own one of em.. ;) mark my word!!

Mp Memories Pix....

2010-02-01T00:00:00.000-08:00

Some history pix while having some food before ongoing daily duties!! Mp the BEST!!

RMF FT vs RZ Family team

2010-01-24T23:27:00.000-08:00

The Strikers - From left to right (Jimmy, Fairol (me) & P.A.Fadhil)

hehe... we lose by 3-2 scored by P.A.Fadhil by Penalty

Brunei Police Force keeping the country SAFE!

2010-01-24T02:00:00.000-08:00

24th January 2010 - Brunei Police Force once again showed their best strategies on how to deal with Terrorism.... it was held at Kampong Ayer were nearly 300 people attend to see the cool event performed for the public in collaboration of the 60th Birthday of Royal Brunei Police Force.

Requesting for a new technological phone!!!

2010-01-20T06:17:00.001-08:00

20th January 2010 - i`m requesting a phone from my XXXXXX to replace the old phone for our hotline@"Hell Phone", something like 3G type which can check email or other cool features to help with our daily duties, the XXXXX agreed to replaced the phone and tend to change it the next day (Today). today, the XXXXX call me up...and asking me to go office to pick up the new phone i requested....and guess what!, i received the same unit that i used currently use for the hotline but the only differences is that it`s brand new....and it`s pure CLASSIC!. Sheesh~~

New working partner??

2010-01-20T06:10:00.000-08:00

21st January 2010 - i was told that i got a new working partner since my old partner had left the company last month, i dont feel like having another partner since i can work alone but it`s easier for me with my daily duties...

the company suggest Fxxxx (girl) or Fxxxxx (guy) to become my partner, but so far i dont know which one shud i choose or capable to connect with my way compare to my previous partner....anyway life must go on...for now cant decide....just go with the flow...and it will automatically show`s the way... :)

Media Permata Farewell Dinner Memories...

2010-01-17T23:02:00.001-08:00

16th January 2010 - The Day an END for us....the official farewell dinner for my BOSS...it was a sad night but we had so much fun before everything turns to memories...70% Media Permata staff attended the farewell at Aneka Rasa, Kiulap to greet and meet with our beloved boss..

Here` are some photos my colleagues requested to see....

We loved you Boss...from us MP Staff!! ^_^

Another pix of the MP`s Farewell event!

2010-01-17T22:43:00.001-08:00

s

`

Media Permata Staff

The day an END for me!

2010-01-17T21:30:00.000-08:00

16th January 2010 - The Day an END for me....the official farewell dinner for my BOSS...it was a sad night but we had so much fun before everything turns to memories...70% Media Permata staff attended the farewell at Aneka Rasa, Kiulap to greet and meet with our beloved boss..

we give speeches and sing along to give final respect, he was the best and from time to time taking care of our department like family....thats why everyone cherished what he has done to us as MP family...and look what we are now!

Recent My Project Documentary concerning Environment

2010-01-13T19:23:00.001-08:00

Annual Dinner for our Company on 30th Jan 2010

2010-01-12T21:42:00.000-08:00

Another great upcoming event for our office mates....'Annual Dinner Brunei Press 2010' with the theme Black & Gold that brings exciting event to show the best dress and performance at empire hotel. this is where most of my collegues will show off their talent and flirting to each other..while some of them waiting for the lucky draw to get their numbers being announce... :)

Another sad day !!

2010-01-12T21:27:00.000-08:00

Another sad day and why is that? My Boss is quiting and in 3 days time he`ll be gone for good....i can say ...he`s the only person which can be competent to take care of our department since he established our department... today ..i`m checking the newspaper and i saw his position being advertise to replace him in the near future....welll life must go on...and hoping to get the same boss like him....

'RMF FT' New Imported Players 'P.A.Fadhil' Jersey 37

2010-01-11T05:43:00.000-08:00

Rezal Malek Faesal Football Team (RMF FT) yesterday importing new striker 'Pengiran Anak Fadhil' will start kicking with his new teammates on 20th January 2010, where he promised to bring victory for his new Team and giving out of the BEST to show what he capable of.. 'Fadhil' (jersey 37) will ongoing training starting today to improve his stamina and technique which he will be give the chance to play as forward on that day...RMF FT is on the top spot of Bruneian unofficial league for 5 years consequnesively.

Applying new job...what i really want!

2010-01-11T02:51:00.001-08:00

i`ve discuss wif my girl and decided to try the Brunei Shell which currently searching for new candidates.....who knows this is my faith or maybe not..but will try my best to apply for it....never stop hoping..

Bad news from my expectation

2010-01-11T02:44:00.000-08:00

11th January 2010 - the day i received result from japan Scholarship that i previously applied and i`m not selected to received the scholarship award... i`ve been doing 100% effort and got through the final interview but unfortunately it`s just not my luck yet :) , eventho i feel sad about it but that wont stop me on applying more opportunities in the future.... i want to show to my parent about my abilities.... hope in the future time will change to a better life :)

Trip to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia & Protecting the VIP`s

2010-01-07T02:48:00.000-08:00

Day 1

3rd of January 2010, We arrived at Kuala Lumpur International Airport around 2pm it was raining and upon the arrival at the airport the services is really bad….. me, my parent, nephew and my niece are on the way to Masjid India to get a resting place @ XXXXXX Hotel our first mission is to find my mom stuff there…the transportation (Taxi) from KLIA to Masjid India is really expensive, we paid RM200 for the transportation and I feel we`ve been cheated.

Mission complete for my mom but it took 4 hours!! From 4-7pm we have to follow mom every wedding shop to get some accessories and equipment for business purposes, my mom spend RM6,000 for the stuff, boring at that time but luckily its finally over. Tomorrow our plan is to go to Sunway Lagoon and Pyramid.

10:16pm in the hotel , cant sleep coz not use to it….even my dad , mom and lukman are still awake and watching Malaysian tv shows.. 12am, still can’t sleep waiting for the wireless to be connected to communicate with my girl in Japan, and the room is uncomfortable for me..i miss my totoro and the song “Japanese food” makes me feel wanna go back home.

Day 2

1130am @ sunway lagoon, the environment here is really cousey but anywhere we went always deal with money, not as I expecte entrance fee is RM$60 for 3 adults and RM$45 for 2 children just for the entrance not include ride fees.. I don’t know wether im` gonna splash myself in or not since the weather is too Hot!!, until now I cant find any internet access and can only write my blog offline. Well….im gonna spend my time relaxing here and thinking what should we do next..one thing is inside my mind is to get Playstation 3 here in KL, oh well we will see how it goes….

We went to Sunway Pyramid after done swimming, we are having our rest since dad is a bit tired and dizzy. We went to Kopitiam station to grab some food luckily there`s an internet connection to check my email and replying important messages.just today itself we spent RM$380 @ Sunway Area which I feel it’s a ripped off. Now i`m in a cab journey on the way back to the hotel while looking at Kuala Lumpur scenery. It`s a beautiful country but lots of traffic congestion. Maybe….if it`s confirm we are planning to go KLCC tonight to check some stuff for the kids and myself and the ehemssss...*

Let me ask lukman, how does he felt so far on the trip itself? “sadang…..ok lah!!” . I feel like I can`t live in this country too much money matters and too much issues and rudeness compare with ****** I feel more safe. This country tend to use the slogan “Don’t trust anybody”.

Day 3

10am guest what?My mom to the wedding shop again purchasing more stuff for her business it took 2hours to rapped up everything. 12pm we change our hotel to bukit bintang area where luqman and nurul are much more comfortable and happier. Before we changed our hotel area luqman was abit tired and sad……nurul……well she was also tired like luqman. According to Nurul, this place is interesting but expensive the best is the ‘Dunkin Donut’ @ KLCC. The problem is is that the toilet at the hotel us terrible.

Day 4

According to Lukman, he stated : "Nenek babu and nenek bapa was going to masjid india again with my sister nurul. While I go with uncle popoi seing some stuff out, .after that we went to the arcade and I was bored and tired and hungry because were lost at ‘Sungei wang’, when we found a way out we were happy. we’ve thought we would never get out……..we went to KFC to eat ….. we went to TC [Tactical Gear] I thought there were real guns but sadly no...they didn’t even sell any weapons tho only some military accessories".

to be continued.................................

Loving someone abroad is difficult?

2009-12-30T06:36:00.001-08:00

The challenge is with me, I love this girl and i give hope on everything i have just to be with her, my biggest challenge is that i have to reconsider that we`re far apart, it`s not a bad thing tho, but it`s how we trying manage to spend time together is the problem we have suffer.

Faithful & Sincerity?

why we have to be far apart? when we both realised we`re seems to be alright, is it bcoz of culture, life, money, career - the answer is still pending and i need to know how to solve it ..... hope one day the future will be together or ...........???

Gambar semasa di Canberra Australia, Year 2000

2009-12-30T06:26:00.000-08:00

At this moment....i still remember who i am? how cool i am and how fun life is...but time changes in the year 2009, it`s time to grow up...lots of things happened this days..and my memories still intact... :D